The Value of a Handful

It is said that “it takes a village”. I would say, how about a mindfully selected handful. When I’m asked to run group classes I always introduce the concept of “five alive”.

After many years of counselling and teaching people how to lead their best life, in a world full of so much uncertainty, I have learned the value of choosing 5 people in your life that you can turn to. This makes achieving your goals more viable.

You Can Count Them On One Hand: five alive

It’s important that you ask your 5 people’s permission and let them know it’s not for them to save or fix you, but to be a sounding board and to remind you of your tools and to offer nurture. These people you choose can be family, friends, teachers, or guides. 

It is important to have a handful of 5 because it’s hard for one person to be the only one that holds you when you’re down or healing. Also one person may be good for one thing, but not for another. Knowing this it’s great to diversify your handful, so you have a vast variety of skills, help and care.

In my research I have learned that people need a place to belong, a purpose and unconditional love (not enabling) and this will keep them from addiction and disEase. Creating this handful gives you and the others a chance to have purpose by setting up your support network. It also means that with these five you have consciously chosen with each one that you belong together. Finally, when you invite them in you can share the mutual desire for these three things and choose to love each other unconditionally.

I feel it’s also very important to not enable or be enabled as part of this process. Unconditional love, to me, means “I love you forever and I love myself and out of love and respect for us both we will not continue communicating when there is violence, disrespect, dishonesty or meanness. It means I’ll still love you but from afar and we can try again to communicate once the loved one has gained self control again.”

So here’s to finding your mindfully curated handful of people that will support you in your conscious journey of living your best life. I’m pretty sure that if you had just one confidant in your life previously, they would likely be grateful you are expanding.

Here’s to love, community and living our best lives consciously.

Reach out if you need some help, it’s why I’m here.

Osa